eating disorder and anxiety

For as long as I can remember I have had strange relationships with food. I was always a healthy size but thin I struggled to eat as I was anxious about being sick and ate very healthy not your normal choices a child would choose. This developed further and I became very strict in my diet as to what I would eat and what was a safe food. Also if someone in my family or I was ill I wont eat the food I the that day again as my anxiety feeds the ideas that the bad things will happen again. This isn’t just related to food its also clothes.

 

I was never skeleton thin and have but was always around 7st 6 and at 5ft 7 that to me is to thin and a weight I’m unhappy at.

since my anxiety has relapsed and I have developed   germ phobia  my eating is awful.  I’m now living on a few safe foods the same diet every day at set times in the day. The rules around my eating are hard for me to understand never mind my family . these are some examples

:no one can touch my food or be in the kitchen when I’m making food due to the risk of germs

:I have to use certain pans and utensils which must be cleaned in a certain way.

:I cant eat out or near other people

:I have to have he food at certain times

I could go on but seeing these written  down they seem pretty crazy but there fed by my anxiety my fears that if I break these set rules I will be ill or someone in my family will be.

I have just been referred for a assessment relating to my eating as mental health support is hard to get non of the services seem to feed each other and it seems like I will constantly be repeating my story.

4 thoughts on “eating disorder and anxiety

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