I’ve not posted for a little while as I’ve been really struggling it seemed pointless to post and share only negative things. (Honestly sometime you just don’t want to write the things that are in your head because then they become real)
so today I met my new counsellor at first site I was nervous she reminded me of a school teacher ( I can’t be the only one who passes little judgey comments in there head) but after 5 minutes I relaxed she was lovely and most of all she really understood. She understood me ( that’s hard I don’t even understand myself) she listened to my life story how my anxiety started what’s happening now and how I’m struggling and she turned round and said anyone else who has suffered and lived with what you have would be on the floor now. You should be so proud of yourself. For that split moment I did stop and think
yes I’ve survived days I thought I wouldn’t
I’ve lost a parent very young in a traumatic way.
my 1st short term boyfriend was physically violent to me on numerous occasions when I was 16.
I’ve been badly bullied
I won’t go on as I don’t want to bring the post down but for that split second I saw what other people see the front I put on the happy trendy mum who adores her little boy and has built very successful businesses.
That spilt second soon passed but hopefully one day it’ll stay a little longer.