what is wrong with me..

sometimes I think there’s something really wrong with me how can I function like I do but yet be so incapable of being happy and looking after myself.

I own 2 large supermarket type stores with post offices in won many national awards for them and employ lots of staff. yet I cant cope from the outside I look like I am, people always comment on how calm I am yet every days a fight a battle to go work, to eat, to remember my appointments, I’m so wrapped up in doing everything for everyone else my son my husband that I’m at the bottom of my own pile and everyone else’s. I’m so sick of listening to my staff complain about each other I now how a staff suggestions box. really I just want to turn around and say to them back off you don’t know what I’m going through I’m not bothered if someone didn’t wipe the fide door handle wipe it yourself. There complaint are so trivia yet to me cos my  life is n a downward spiral.

I often feel like there’s no one to talk to no one who understands I guess I purposely isolate myself from any one other than family. I cant remember the last time I smiled yet I have so much to smile for but I’m so unhappy its like having little demons inside.

My life is the perfect example that money and material things don’t buy you happiness like so many people think. We used to dream (when I had friends) about our life’s when we was older. Mine was to be a ballet dancer (I was) then own my own business have a family drive my dream car have a holiday home. yet I’m 9 have all those things and more but I’m sad more than sad I’m ill.

3 thoughts on “what is wrong with me..

  1. CornerED says:

    Anxiety is so debilitating. Just trying to start and do one small self-care thing is so hard. I’m sorry you’re struggling ❤ I have a blog about my recovery if u feel like looking. If theres anyway I can help let me know. Sending you peace and love

    Liked by 1 person

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